The Republican presidential primaries are turning out to be a very, very entertaining spectacle. Like a good soap opera, we have had the Insane (Michele Bachmann); the gay (Marcus Bachmann), ok, granted… he wasn’t a candidate, but boy, didn’t we have a field day with him!!; the dumb Macho man (Rick Perry); the synister old guy (Ron Paul); the guess star (Herman Cain); the rich guy (Mitt Romney); The educated and well-traveled (Jon Huntsman); the sex-maniac, unfaithful, egocentric and “guess what my religion is” guy (Newt Gingrich); the guy that seems good but is in reality fanatical and delusional (Rick Santorum). We’ve seen it all, and apparently, they’ll keep coming!
Nothing much can be said about the guess star, Herman Cain, except that I believe he spent too long so close to a hot oven that he might have “cooked” his brains a bit and that must be why he suffers from such a chronic case of bad memory and truly does not remember the many affairs he had or the women that had to put up with his unsolicited sexual advances. Maybe, since he was so used to timing pizzas or they would be free, not being able to perform for more than 10 minutes, he thought these sexual experiences didn’t count and were “free”… Poor guy, he only lasted for a few guess appearances and on December 3rd, 2011 his “contract expired”, but not without a fight.
My favorite, kind of the salt and pepper of this charade, was Michele Bachmann. Who doesn’t remember the statements given by Michele? They were paramount! One of the most memorable was "I will tell you that I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa, Florida, after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine; that injection and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter." Her pathetic lies, the wild look on her eyes, her complete and utterly denial that her husband was gay; everything about her was so absurd that we didn’t know if to laugh, cry, or pity the woman. She and Marcus brought so much entertainment into an otherwise boring event that I don’t know about you, but I for one miss her! Without much fanfare, Michele was gone from the picture on January 4th, 2012.
Next in line of drop-outs, is Jon Huntsman. He was the most educated of them all. He was a bit arrogant. Ok, ok… a lot arrogant, but at least he had reason to be, damn it… the guy even spoke Mandarin! He tried very hard to fight a clean fight but, since he wasn’t getting anywhere with this tactic he tried to show aggression and, in his first attempt to show some teeth, he failed miserably! People could see he didn’t mastered the art of hypocrisy and ill intentions which are a pre-requisite to be a GOP contender so, with a sad look on his face that could bring tears to his mother’s eyes, quietly left the scene on January 16, 2012.
The cowboy, gosh… who can forget him? He was almost the male version of Michele Bachmann with a bit of Herman Cain just to make it more interesting. This guy, who really thought he had a chance to swim in a shark infested pool and be the daddy of all sharks, was devoured pretty quickly, you see, Rick Perry was as dumb as a doorknob and owner of a memory the size of a mosquito – not very good attributes for someone running for the presidency. This is one of his most memorable quotes, where he had the opportunity to show the world how brilliant he was: "I will tell you: its three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the -- what's the third one there? Let's see. ... OK. So Commerce, Education and the -- ... The third agency of government I would -- I would do away with the Education, the ... Commerce and -- let's see -- I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops” He couldn’t even remember his own plan! It was brilliant! But as all good things do have to pass, this cowboy rode into the sunset and went back to the lone star State on January 19th, 2012.
By this time, all we have left are: Newt, Paul, Mitt and Rick. The four horsemen of the apocalypses! If any one of them by any chance – whether Americans go crazy and vote for any of them or, as it is very likely they could do, fixing the elections – it will be the end of this country and we Liberals, Progressives, Democrats and Independent know this. The vision these men have for our country and the middle class is to be feared. But I seriously doubt this will happen.
Not even the GOP seems to have much faith in any one of them and is considering bringing into the picture two of their most beloved stars: Chris Christie and Jeb Bush. Will they accept to play into this soap opera? What will they be bringing into the picture? Of course, we know that Christie will be bringing about 400 pounds of lard with him and Bush more or less the same weight in crap coming as he does from the Bush clan; but politically and most importantly, from an entertaining point of view, what will they provide us with? I can’t wait for the next episode! Who will be the first of the 4 to leave the show with his tail between the legs? Count Dracupaul? Porky Newt? Saint Orum? Or Mitt Money?
Ah… don’t miss the next episode of this very interesting saga! Stay tune!