Tribute To A Great Man

I am not a superstitious person, but I must admit that this year – 2013 – has been one heck of a year for me so far.

As you all know, my mother was very ill in May and she remains in the hospital to this day. Thankfully, she is improving and I do believe she will be back home by the end of August, which is good news.

However, hardship loves company and last week my uncle, who I loved with all my heart, passed away unexpectedly. I had to break the news to my mother and that was difficult enough. I had to tell her that her last sibling had left us and comfort her in her sorrow, trying to convince her that he had a “good death” because he died in his sleep. A “good death!” What a damn oxymoron!

I loved my uncle ever since I can remember. He was the most righteous, civil, honest, hardworking and decent person I’ve ever known. He was a genuine man, what you saw was exactly what you got. The word hypocrisy was not part of his dictionary; but if he didn’t like you he made sure you knew but of course, since he had manners he did it very politely, he was a gentleman until his very last breath.

He loved to dance and was very good at it, his best dancing partner was my mother with whom he had danced since they were little kids. He enjoyed singing, with his baritone voice, old Galician songs and was the life of any party. There was nothing he enjoyed more than playing dominoes while teasing my aunt – she always ended up throwing a fit while he was cracking up at his ability to make her lose her ever so volatile temper. I never heard him cuss, not even when he was upset, which was rare… For me, my uncle was an example to follow and I was so lucky to have had him in my life!

He loved my son and was the grandfather my son never had. He was the father I didn’t have and was there for me whenever I needed him, unconditionally.

It’s hard to accept that he is no longer with us, that I didn’t have a chance to tell him for the zillionth time that I loved him with all my heart and how much he meant to me.

But he left us, and the time came when we all had to say our final goodbyes. At the funeral I placed a soft kiss on his cold cheek and whispered in his ear that we will meet again. I need to believe it, it’s hard to lose those that you love and that thought is always comforting, at least for me.

I adored him; I miss him so very much! I always told him I loved him but I don’t think he really knew just how much I did.

Until we meet again tio.

Carlito's Way

I moved into this house six months ago. I considered it a dump. There were about 20 cats roaming in the front yard. It’s a duplex and the next-door neighbor is co-owner of the property and the owner of the cats. Since I have 4 indoor cats and 3 indoor dogs, I didn’t have that many choices when it came to rent so I moved in even when I wasn’t too happy with the property but I only rent where my furry children are accepted.

Since day one there was one cat that caught my attention, Carlitos. One of his hind legs seemed a little deformed but his personality was wonderful! His eyes were very expressive, you could almost feel them caressing you and even when he wasn’t the prettiest cat in the bunch, he certainly was the one that you will remember.

We became very close. He used to lie down all day on my porch, snoozing the afternoon away until he heard my car. Every single time I came back from the store or from work, he would snap out of his haze and rush to the gate to greet me. No matter how many times I did this, he was always there like a silent vigilant watching over me and wishing my speedy return.

Carlitos was thirteen years old and had a stroke a year ago and that was the cause of his deformed leg. Last week, he had another stroke but was beginning to recuperate and I was truly hopeful. The first thing he did when he got better was to rush to my porch. However, early today he had yet another stroke. I had been dealing with my mother’s illness and couldn’t be at his side until I found someone to watch after my mother, as soon as I found someone, I rushed to his side and spoke softly to him, gently pat his head and I could see he was enjoying it; half an hour later, he left this world and I softly whispered in his ear to please look for me on my next life – I want him in it.

I have lost a friend, a friend that I looked forward seeing every day, religiously by my front door. He had become part of my life and I know that I was part of his. I already miss him so much!

I didn’t own him, he belonged to someone else, but I know that spiritually he belonged to me because there is no other explanation for his behavior or my attachment. I love Carlitos, coming home will not be the same without him…

Four Letter Words

Yesterday the citizens of North Carolina voted in favor of Senate Bill 514, better known as Amendment 1, banning same sex marriage and domestic legal unions. This bill claims that only marriages between a man and a woman are valid, rendering all other unions, particularly same sex marriages illegal. 

I am, up to a point, happy that these people did this to themselves. In their never-ending hate and bigotry towards homosexuals, they as usual, shot themselves in the foot.

This new amendment will strip couples that live together outside marriage to include their partners in their insurance as they have enjoyed up to today. This amendment might affect women from being protected by the law from domestic violence from their partner, since law enforcement agents will no longer see their mate as a spouse. According to an UNC study, the amendment might question the legality of “contractual agreements and equitable claims between unmarried couples together; and (2) child custody and visitation determinations.” 

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, American Community Survey from 2009 there are at least 186,366 couples in North Carolina that live together but are not married, 91 percent of them are heterosexual. According to the latest Census, almost half of all marriages in North Carolina end in divorce. As of 2010 the total population in North Carolina was of 9,535,483.  The population over the age of 18 was of 7,253,848 and 3,042,733 were over the age of 50. This means that approximately 4,211,115 were in what is commonly considered the "marrying" age. This amendment will affect approximately 372,732 people that are living out of wedlock and where only 33,546 are gay. I don’t think you need to be a mathematician to realize who will hurt the most by this new amendment… Isn’t it funny how hate can bite you in the face?

North Carolina has one of the highest divorce rates in the country, so it’s not as if they held the “sanctity” of marriage to such high standards. I will never be able to understand the opposition to marriage between two consenting adults, regardless of gender, race or religion.  How would a marriage between two women or two men, negatively affect a marriage between a man and a woman? Are heterosexuals afraid that gay marriages might last longer than theirs and therefore it will look more valid or valued? Or are they afraid that same-sex marriages might last longer than theirs and therefore making gay marriage more “sanctified” than their own? I honestly believe that is what they fear.  As it happens with most things, what motivates them are their own insecurities.

People in this country are using every vile excuse they can find to go back in time. They keep wishing to return to an era that besides of the golden era of Hollywood and of what can be considered the beginning of the African-American musical influence in what was up to that time an insipid musical repertoire of Caucasian America nothing else was as good as they fantasize it. Quite frankly, not even what I just mentioned was as good as they think, except for a handful of “classics.” The time in history where the Republican and Tea Party want to take this nation back to, was a very sad era where only the Caucasian Americans had rights; women, blacks, native Americans and the rest were considered sub-citizens. I refuse to accept this; we must fight this regression together as a country and as a people.

I rather live in a country where what matters most is the respect we have one another, where my neighbor can love whoever he or she chooses, where we all have the same right under the sun and under our Constitution. A place that constantly moves forward never to look back, unless it is not to repeat the same mistakes; but never wishing to go back and always moving forward. A country that puts its sight on a brighter future, where we are all the same regardless of sexual preferences, racial differences, religious beliefs or financial status. I know that we still have a long road ahead of us, but the road must always lie ahead of us, not behind us.

I am very proud of our Vice President Joe Biden, that so candidly spoke in favor of same-sex marriage this past Sunday on Meet the Press. He might have opened a can of worms, but may the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless him for it!

Perhaps it was the candor with which VP Biden expressed himself coupled with the fact that the world didn’t end after he offered his personal support that moved our President, Barack H. Obama, to openly support gay marriage today.  I don’t know, all I can say is that for the first time in American history a President has had the guts to say this to the world and I've never been prouder of my president than I was today.

Four letter words and they have such opposing meanings: LOVE and HATE… which one do you prefer to honor?

North Carolina Divorce Statistics (2010): (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvss/divorce_rates_90_95_99-10.pdf

North Carolina Marriage Statistics (2010): http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvss/marriage_rates_90_95_99-10.pdf

When instead of a heart we find a stone

Today as I was parking at a drug store chain, an older man and what seemed to be his wife approached me. They looked clean and sober but they also looked malnourished, especially the man. He asked me if I had any change I could spare that he was embarrassed to ask but, he had lost his job a year ago and up to now he had been able to make the $125.00 a month payment for his motorcycle but that now he had no more money and he was 3 months short from paying off the bike which was his only means of transportation. He said he could lie and say he had a sick child, or sick wife but that he had never been a liar and he preferred to say the truth. I felt sorry for the man, he seemed sincere and we all know the rough times in which we live.

I told him that Friday I could help them, but that today I was broke myself. I began walking and, decided to look into my wallet and saw I had $4.00, my entire capital until Friday. I was tempted to continue walking, I must be honest but then again that isn’t me and I know I could not live with my conscience so I returned, showed him the $4 and told him that was all I had and gave them half. Their appreciation and gratitude was too much for the miserable $2 I was able to spare and that made me feel very uncomfortable, I didn’t deserve such praise!

Finally, I was able to walk away after countless “thank you's” and “God bless you's” and the obligatory “your welcome”; while I was walking I noticed a car with a handicap tag hanging from the rear view mirror, going against the traffic. A woman that looked healthier than the couple I had left behind called me and in not a very proper way either. She just said “Hey, you! Come here!” Looking around and realizing she was referring to me I walked toward her window. She was insulted because she had seen me giving money to “those people”, I asked her why did she think there was a problem with my action to which she replied: “They’ve been here for an hour asking people for money!” When I told her what the man had told me she moved her arms in disgust and yelled a few obscenities and with the pedal to the metal left, or so I though.

As I was reaching the drugstore, I saw her parking. She came out of the car and I had to laugh! She was no handicapped! So, it’s perfectly all right for her to be a liar and abuser but God forbid someone asks for help, then that represents a problem.

What is wrong with this society? Whatever happened to sympathy, cordiality, and compassion? I am a firm believer that nothing, absolutely nothing happens for no reason and I am beginning to understand why the economy is the way it is – from a human point of view, not a economist one. There are way too many people that have to hit rock bottom financially for them to get off their high horse. There have been homeless people for about 30 years roaming our streets and no one cared. The homeless were invisible for most; they were even considered some sort of pest, which many wished they would simply disappear. Not everyone was like this, but sadly the vast majority couldn’t care less and walked passed them without even noticing they were there. Today, more and more middle class people are getting closer and closer to becoming homeless themselves. Many are struggling to make ends meet, myself included. Perhaps, this economic and social collapse is a necessity for humanity to regain its humanity which has been lost since long ago over to selfishness, greed and ambition.