Jesus, Christianity and the Spaghetti Monster

Has anyone ever wondered why there is so much hatred in a nation where the majority of the citizens are so-called Christians? You know the kind, those that are constantly quoting the Bible and have the name of Jesus, God or Amen in almost all their sentences. The nuttier they are, the more Christian they turn out to be and usually, the most hateful.

They hate almost everything: health care for all, equal rights, women’s rights, lesbian and gay rights and almost everything that has a right in it except, of course, their political party (Republican) which is typically called the Right and, their religious rights; theirs not everyone else. These people that are always with Jesus on their lips are the first ones to trash and bash a guy named Jesus because he is an immigrant. They are the first ones to cry that the rest of the people that do not share their faith or people of no faith, are imposing their beliefs or opinions on them. However, they see nothing wrong with forcing kids in a public school, a school that is funded by the taxes of all Americans regardless of their religious, sexual orientation, gender or race, to have prayers as part of their education. These are the ones that reject science and would prefer not to have evolution taught in schools and have demanded, on several occasions, to have creationism taught as well if they are to accept evolution to be imparted. The same people that today are trying, and in many States succeeding, to reverse Roe vs. Wade and forcing their opinion regarding what a woman can do with her uterus. This group is attacking all the advances women have acquired through years of fighting against a male chauvinistic society that has obstructed them every step of the way. Now, these people want to go back to the dark ages and take every one of us with them!

Ever since the first Mega-church was erected back in the 1980s we have seen an increasing number of fanatics. I am beginning to think that all the “wild and crazy” stuff that took place in the ‘60s and ‘70s yielded as a result a bunch of fried-brained, morally depleted, spiritually empty group of people that, once the hippie communes were dismantled, had no place to go for guidance. Having always followed the herd, they flocked like turkeys to churches in search of solace, sort of a spiritual dry-cleaning. These people fell prey of some group of men that saw the opportunity and grabbed it. These ministries created shows where they fooled the followers by arranging for people to be healed by the “minister” and if paraplegic, they walked for the first time in front of the congregation; or by having people tell stories of how a terminally ill family member or themselves were miraculously cured by the “minister.” With these tricks-of-the-trade, these congregations amassed millions of dollars and with the power that money generates, they grew bigger by venturing into radio, television, building bigger churches, building schools and Universities, hospitals and almost every other type of institution where they had the upper hand to indoctrinate the people… especially when they were very young and therefore, more moldable. Oral Roberts and Bill Graham were the pioneers of this new religious trend; it is them we should thank for converting this country into the religious craze we are witnessing now. These two men claimed to have a direct connection with God; God would speak directly to them and instructed them on what needed to be done, it seems that God changed the gospels for them so that being filthy rich was a good thing and not a sin. Out the window went the famous teachings: “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:23-24.

Conveniently, God told these two men and others that followed that it was OK to be rich and being as pious as they are, they followed God’s instructions. Billy Graham lives in his own private mountain, behind huge gates and has a huge fortune. No one knows for certain because Graham has never made his income tax public, I guess it is a source of embarrassment to have so much wealth and still be asking the congregation for money. Oral Roberts also amassed great wealth; he even had his own private jet. It pays to preach!

It was men such as Oral Roberts and Billy Graham that during a span of over 50 years they indoctrinated the masses through radio, television, Universities and at the Mega Churches to hate everything and anything that it was not in accordance to their Ministries. This country went from austerity to liberalism and now is back to austerity in less than 50 years. These opposed and contradicting views, one after the other, is not a common occurrence and it can only happen with indoctrination.

It is sad that today these people hate everything that not long ago they defended and fought for: civil rights, women rights and freedom. The same people that in the 60s proudly carried signs claiming “Make Love not War” or “Peace and Love” are now the same that proudly display their guns, bomb a clinic or kill a doctor, of course, they claim they are doing God’s work. These people want to see Jesus, the poor Mexican farmer, be deported to Mexico. They are very humane and loving!

Which brings me to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. That is a God I can believe in. He is not judgmental and you can have him anyway you like: al dente, soft and even raw, white, green, red or pink. Can have Him cold or hot, spicy or not. Does not cost much to have it in your pantry and it will feed the masses for almost nothing and He will accept you regardless of race, gender, age or financial status. He serves to the rich and the poor and belongs to the world. He doesn’t judge you, you judge him. That is my kind of God… Hail to the FSM!

The Invasion of Privacy

This is an attempt to clarify, scientifically not religiously, the subject of contraceptives and abortion. 

First we must understand the difference between an embryo, a fetus and a baby. It really bothers me to hear people calling an embryo or a fetus by the term baby, probably that is the reason why we are still debating this subject up to this day.

When a woman’s ovum (egg) drops from the fallopian tubes and, if she is lucky enough to have a man and enjoyed intercourse (or not) at the correct moment without protection or, as in many cases, the protection fails to do its job, that ovum will get fertilized by the man’s spermatozoa if they are not lazy or if the men is not, as commonly known, “shooting blanks”. I hope that up to this point everyone reading this will agree or at least have some concept of this stage of fertilization/conception.

If the ovum gets fertilized, it will drop to the uterus (located inside the woman and as of now that we are debating this issue, an uterus that belongs only to that woman) and attach itself to the walls of the uterus to start developing into an EMBRYO. At this time, basically, is a single cell that has been invaded by another single cell, isn’t it funny how even then, men are invading women? Anyway, not always a fertilized ovum will attach itself to the walls of the uterus or, even if attached will develop into an embryo, resulting in a miscarriage without the woman ever knowing that she was pregnant.

This is how the ovum looks like after the lucky spermatozoan got its way, it is at this moment that it is scientifically called an embryo and it shall remain with that name until the end of the 8th week from fertilization.

It almost looks like a black and white fried egg… doesn’t it? The human embryo differs little from the embryos of almost every other species. At the end of this article I will provide you with a link to various pictures of embryos and early stage fetuses for you to decide to which species the pictures belong to. Kind of a quiz to test your knowledge on the subject, it would be fun to see how many of you that believe that it is a baby since the moment of conception will be able to recognize the human embryo or fetus. 

The ovum, once fertilized, will begin splitting into multiple cells, at the second split we can start to recognize some features. As you can see, even at this early stage we can begin to find a resemblance to the procreator… At this stage, they look just like their "daddy"! Don’t they? So sweet!!! If you can’t see the resemblance, ask your husband to bend and look as his testicles, they look very similar!

During the first 4 weeks, the embryo is the size of a sesame seed (approximately 1/8 of an inch) or smaller, it doesn’t have a heartbeat, it doesn’t have limbs, it doesn't have a brain or even a spinal cord. This is the way the embryo looks towards the end of that stage, can you tell what sex is it, what the color of the hair or eyes will be? Can you tell if it will be a normal child or if it will have some anomalies at this point? I seriously doubt it, because at this stage you couldn’t differentiate between a human embryo and that of a dog, a cat, a horse, an elephant or a rat, among others. At this stage, having no brain or spinal cord, the embryo can’t have sensory nerves, in other words, it can’t feel pain. Alright, it is noticeable that it looks almost like a shrimp but not nearly that size, not even half the size of a small shrimp.

After the end of the 8th week is when the embryo starts developing into a FETUS. It still doesn’t look human, but you can begin to see the limbs, it has a heartbeat, a brain and a spinal cord. Having already a brain we can assume that at this stage the fetus might feel pain. The picture on the right is how it will look, more or less, by the 9th week. Now we can perceive limbs, eyes, and is quickly changing into a recognizable human… but its not there yet, at this point there are other species that still resembles ours, but there is no denying that at this point we can recognize a life.

From the end of the 8th week until the fetus passes through the birth canal, it will assume and retain the name of fetus. It is not a baby, just like an egg is not a chicken or a chick… it is an egg until the shell breaks and the chick breathes and in humans, it is a fetus until the water breaks and that fetus takes its first breath of air, not a millisecond before, it is then and only then it  can be called a baby. So, to all those people that are pro-life and keep saying that an abortion kills babies are not saying the truth, just twisting the words to inflict pity, guilt and rage among people, after all, no one but a sick person would ever want to kill a baby!

This brings me to the subject of abortion and contraceptives. Every woman, absolutely every single one of them is pro-life; no one gets pregnant because they think "so what? if I do get pregnant I’ll simply have an abortion!" – That is not what happens. It is an extremely difficult decision that every woman, God fearing or atheist, doesn’t make lightly and a decision she wishes she would never have to make. There are different reasons, all valid, and which I am not going to enumerate, for a woman to come to that conclusion. After seriously thinking and debating with herself about the choices to make, agonizing about it, when a woman makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy – that by no stretch of the imagination is ‘killing a baby’, especially during the first trimester – that woman has seriously thought about it and felt guilty about it and decided that it was her only choice. There is no need to make her "listen to the heartbeat", see pictures of gorgeous and happy 4 month old babies in the doctor’s office,  no need to make her wait 24 hours and no need to make her feel worse than she already feels! 

This is not a religious matter, it is not a moral matter, it is not a civil matter, it is not a government matter, this is not a men's matter… it is a woman’s personal matter! 

All these fierce religious far right extremists that today are calling for the elimination of abortions and contraceptives for every single woman across in this country, because it goes against their religious beliefs but, that at the same time they also oppose for women to be on welfare; these same religious men and women who do not go and adopt all the children that are loveless in orphanages or going from foster home to foster home until they reach the age of 18 and are on their own or children that will never know what love is because they were born with deformities or HIV and abandoned by their mothers… Unless these people that are blocking every effort to provide women the alternative of not getting pregnant or, in some cases blocking the access to terminate a pregnancy, until these people pick up the tab for the children that are born and were unwanted, from the embryonic stage to the ripe age of 18, unless they’re willing to do that, they have absolutely no right to tell a woman what to do with her uterus or the embryo that she is carrying. It is up to that woman, her conscience and her physician to determine if there is a need to end a pregnancy or, preferably, take the precautions in the form of contraceptives to avoid getting pregnant and therefore, preventing the so hated abortion. 

To all the pro-life women: Get pregnant all you want, do with YOUR uterus whatever you please, but who gave you the right to invade other women’s uterus? Do the other women have the right to force you to take contraceptives or have an abortion? If they don’t have the right to inflict upon you their opinions and religious beliefs, how dare you force yours onto them? If you think you do have the right because of your religious beliefs, you don’t. If you believe in God, then you believe He gave mankind  free-will to make his/her own decisions, whether the decisions are good or bad it doesn’t matter, it is an individual’s decision, not yours... not even God’s.

I might understand (not accept) your opposition to abortion, but give me a break! Opposing contraceptives means that you are protecting a single cell… After all, an ovum that hasn’t been fertilized by a sperm because it was protected by a contraceptive it is not a baby, it is not an embryo, and it is not a fetus… It is a damn cell that will come out in the next menstrual cycle and which will be tossed away, whether in a tampon, a sanitary napkin or in the toilet!