When Masturbating is Murder

I couldn’t believe it when I read today that Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson (D), had introduced a bill in Congress, claiming that “Every Sperm is Sacred” as an Amendment to the Personhood bill.

After the shock and laughter that derived from the headings of this article, I had to silently applaud the valiant action, that highhandedly Sen. Johnson had tackled. She had the courage to introduce an absurdity into an already absurd bill to prove a point, a very valid point. If Congress finds absurd the idea that a sperm is a potential life – rendering masturbation illegal since one drop of that wonderful sperm wasted, represents thousands of little babies that ended up on the sheets, towel, tub or floor. Sacrilege! How can men be so careless and kill thousands of babies in one second? Don’t men know that they must not ejaculate under any circumstances, unless it is to procreate life? How come then it is not just as absurd to ask women not to take contraceptives, not to use the morning after pill? But of course, we all know that what the Conservatives demand from women is by no means, what they demand from men… ah, those precious jewels of them are the ‘untouchables’, unless they don't function properly for which they demanded pills, such as Viagra, and other treatments to be covered by insurance companies!

According to the article, Sen. Johnson amended her own bill and added these precious words-“However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.” – a stroke of genius!

Unfortunately, Sen. Johnson decided to table her bill as a gesture to show that her bill was just to prove a point and not a serious bill. I think that was a mistake. That bill should have been included in the already bizarre Personhood bill… perhaps, since it would prohibit masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, wet dreams, pull outs and in essence, fornicating unless procreating I am sure that the bill would have been killed on the Senate floor, now it has a chance to go through.

Regardless, it is good to know that as usual, it is the Democrats in Congress the ones that work for the protection of women’s rights… and the ones with a healthy sense of humor!